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| Sneak peak from my 29th Birthday shoot (May 29th) |
Before you jump into assumptions, it's not what you think! I just wanted to grab your attention to share something that's been on my heart and to encourage someone else----that you do NOT have to wait til after you are married to share your mental health story. I get men and women in my DM's saying that they wish they could have the courage or bravery to share about them being diagnosed with a mental illness. I want to encourage you that YOU CAN! Someone needs to hear your story... me opening up about myself living with a mental illness was hard but the more I do it and reveal to you guys, the easier it becomes. I'm constantly working on talking about me living with Bipolar Disorder to become as easy as breathing. Sometimes, I still have to affirm myself and break the shame that I've felt because sometimes my mind goes down memory lane of all the episodes, nervous breakdowns and things I've said and done that would seem as embarrassing or shameful. At times I catch myself shaking my head with my hand on my face just like the emoji. But I have to remind myself that my goal is to break the shame and stigma in mental illness. How can I do that if I stay in silence? How can I do that if I'm afraid of what other people would think or say? And if I waited til marriage to do those things...how many people could have just felt like they were alone in this journey and stayed feeling like they were suffering because I was waiting for a man to pop up? Because honestly, I do not know when I will be married and I'mma just leave that in God's hands.
I was diagnosed at 16 years old, hospitalized 4x, and at the age of 22, I decided I was going to heal and take my medication as I should. Writing has been so therapeutic for me and I am still in my healing process to be honest. I'm constantly learning how to watch my triggers and overcome them. I'm thankful for Jesus (my everything), therapist and support system...they make this life so much easier in all my struggles.
Can I be real with you?
I've recently had some mental health struggles and I'm still processing it. Trying to date, figure out grad school, ministry stuff, schooling, figuring out and grieving relationships, and all the while losing loved ones back to back has been rough. I also am trying to complete the last Dear Pandemic book about suicide, anxiety and depression and it has been a challenge. So I decided to take a mental health break and pause from the dating scene and go on sabbatical from preaching on FB live. In this season, I feel led to be most transparent in my triumphs and struggles with my readers and blog my journey. This year has been so tough on my mental health but I am seeking therapy, working out and trying to eat healthy the best that I can. It's been quite stressful but I'm pushing through. I do not have it altogether. I do not know what God has in store next when it comes to a lot of things but I am meditating and standing on this scripture while I practice self-love and self-care.
Proverbs 3:5-6
New International Version
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Surely, God cares about me and He cares about you too! This can be a testing and trying season. But I promise we are coming out of the fire, pure as gold! I'm encouraging you...as I am encouraging myself. We really do got this!
Have you ever seen the movie The Secret She Kept with Kyla Pratt? It is such a great movie! If you haven't watched it...I suggest you go watch it now! Kyla Pratt character was in denial about having Bipolar Disorder/SchizoAffective Disorder, got married and tried to keep it a secret from her husband but he saw all the signs and behaviors...well go on Youtube to watch find out what happens and to know the rest! I loved her husband character in the movie by the way. I just wanted to add about the movie before I end this blogpost because I think it will be a great film to encourage you that there is someone out there to love you beyond your illness. But to also encourage you that you do NOT have to wait to become an advocate, you do not have to keep it a secret and when you do share it with your partner, you can be confident within yourself to know that you are lovable no matter what!
I hope this helps the ONE that is suffering in silence...at times I feel alone in this journey. Then I have to remind myself daily that I am not. I am not alone with my thoughts seem to can't stop racing and I can't seem to shut my brain off. I am not alone when I go through my struggles of anxiety and depression. I am not alone when I have experienced suicidal thoughts. (If you are contemplating suicide I suggest calling into the Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ ) I've honestly called into it a couple of times. Your life matters, you have purpose while here on Earth and you are loved even when your thoughts tell you that you're not. Even if you haven't been loved well and been mistreated by others. God loves you immensely and He has a great plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11)! I know you may not feel like it. I know you may feel like giving up. But I want to encourage you to hang in there...brighter days will come and so will JOY!
I am praying for you...pray for me!
I LOVE YOU! And most of all, God LOVES YOU MORE! And HE cares about you!
xoxoxo
Sheree B
Thank you for this. I have another spin on your title. Tricked me a bit! But good stuff. Stay blessed. Stay strong. Prayers up Sis!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much sis! And haha! I knew the title would grab people attention but it was also a question that I was asking myself about sharing my mental health story! I appreciate you taking the time to read my blogpost!
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