Modern Love: Bipolar and Dating

Anne Hathaway and Gary Carr in Modern Love: Season 1 Episode 3

I recently watched Modern Love: Season 1 Episode 3 on Amazon Prime about actress, Anne Hathaway's character having Bipolar Disorder and her dating experience with actor, Gary Carr (who is sooo finnnneee to me lol). I was suggested to watch this show by my cousin-in-love, Dom and she had no idea how badly I needed to be encouraged by her. I really poured my heart out to her how I was feeling about how I've seen people leave their spouses with Bipolar Disorder and that I was honestly feeling discouraged. Even though I know of two young black women with Bipolar Disorder that are married but I'm not close with them to know the ins and out and not everyone feel comfortable sharing and that is okay. Dom shared with me blessed words and reassurance in the Lord that was so on time. In this episode on Modern Love, Anne displays Bipolar Disorder so well and it is not dramatized at all. Bipolar Disorder really does have it's highs and lows. It can literally feel debilitating and can be overwhelming. But with treatment, it really does makes things better with medication, and therapy (and Jesus too). 

If you read my blogposts, I have shared my experiences in waiting for the right one to come along. I actually shared in my instastories, on Instagram @sheree.p.braswell what I've experienced in dating and in the couple relationships I had, as well as, the many prophetic words I've received about it. In 2011, I told the Lord I could be single for the next 10 years to get myself together and heal, travel and so much more. I didn't know it was actually going to pan out like that for real lol. It's been testing and trying of course. I was just asked recently by a guy in my DM's, "You got a boyfriend yet?" I really didn't know how to respond to that because I am filled with so many emotions and that was triggering for me a bit. It was triggering because it's like I could easily be in a relationship if I have sex with them to be honest. Some men have came out of the gate talking just nasty while initially texting/meeting on an app for the first time and that is a turn off for me. Being in a sexless relationship until marriage was a dealbreaker for majority of them, so talking to them would be cut short. And I'm honestly done with trying to convince a man why we should wait. As much as I would love to have sexual intercourse, and I hope I will wait to til my wedding night because every time there were close calls where it could have went down...it never felt good honestly. I would hear God's voice loud and clear and speaking to me about waiting.  For some men, I met that were very attractive, I would have a vision, prophetic dream or God would speak to me about their future wife so I wouldn't entertain it. A couple of them actually got married. A couple of guys I met didn't support taking medication and going to therapy...they thought you needed to have more faith or that it was a sign of weakness (which will be another blogpost). One of the guys that was foreign told me how we should have God only and how He's a wonderful Counselor and that's all he had to get through his struggles and how his mom raised so many children and had to work. I understood where he was coming from but having a mental illness is totally different. I want to encourage anyone who have mental illness or mental health struggles, that you do not have to settle for someone who doesn't want to be informed or educated on how to manage your mental health. Your mental health matters...take care of yourself hon. You're worth it! There are partners out there who are supportive and willing to make it work. 

Mental illness is not a sign of weakness. You are actually the strongest! In the Modern Love episode, I love how she has her freeing moment in telling everyone about her diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. I literally cried. I'm still emotional about this journey with Bipolar Disorder but maybe I'm even the more emotional because of grieving my late grandmother and her life experiences when it came to love as well. Sharing with someone your dating your story and being vulnerable is not easy. As an advocate, I have to remind myself I should talk about it as easy as it breathing because mental health is a part of life. 

Am I open to dating now?

I'm 50/50 at this moment. I understand dating for a purpose for marriage in mind but I do understand the nice gesture of just having a guy take me out on a nice date and having a good time. I'm not a multi or serial dater and I tend to put my eggs in one basket. I think I got that side from my dad. He's been with my mom since they were 15 years old...so I've seen nothing but loyalty through hard times and thick and thin. I just like genuine connections and for it to be organic...not everybody catch my interests. And being prophetic can be a trip at times while dating because like a prophet told me almost 10 years ago, men are attracted to you for your outer appearance but you have a word to give them and not necessarily be with them. Whew! That prophetic word has definitely come to pass too. I'm a heavy dreamer and God will reveal to me and show me them talking to other women, what's going on in their personal life and their struggles. 

As I'm processing past disappointments in therapy, working on myself and inner healing. I believe I will become more open to it again, keep me in your prayers. I'm learning it's okay to grieve, and take mental health breaks from dating. Even though I have a diagnosis, I am more than my diagnosis. In spite of my highs and lows, I'm very loving, kind, encouraging, understanding, and can be very patient. I really am a very caring person and genuine. I love to crack jokes if I'm really comfortable with you and I'm very thoughtful. I really like the person for who they are and no strings attached. I always see the good in people, even while some guys mistreated me and there were red flags. I really try to see the men like how God sees them and am very compassionate. I am very loyal. I'm sharing this part because if you have a diagnosis, I want you see what makes you still lovable because our illness will tell us we are not. 

Disclaimer: Me speaking earlier in this post on people leaving their spouses with Bipolar Disorder was from knowing those around me but thank God for the internet and social media. I have some really encouraging links on Bipolar and Dating. I shared two married couples and their experiences with being married to the highs and lows of partner with Bipolar Disorder and a Buzzfeed video on couples with mental illness that share their story. I also included a video from Kevin Hines talk about how he makes it work in his marriage with him being diagnosed Bipolar Disorder.  I hope it brings you hope and encourages you as much as it did for me. 

https://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/bipolar-20/video-dating-bipolar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYz1aKqiFYk

https://www.jennifermarshall.me/blog/love-survives-mental-illness

https://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/bipolar-20/video-bipolar-married-mania

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy1tFZ4XGsI

If you were encouraged by this post, or want to share any encouraging words for me and share your story with me when it comes to "Bipolar and Dating" and "Bipolar, Love and Marriage", feel free to DM me on instagram @sheree.p.braswell or email me at shereebraswell@gmail.com.

Pray for me...I'm praying for you!

God loves you!

Love,

Sheree B xoxo