Reasons Why I Take My Meds and Maybe You Should Too?

 

Me with my two prescriptions and my "Everybody Vs. Stigma" tee shirt

Hey Loves!

      Hope you are doing okay during this pandemic?! I wanted to share this blogpost on "reasons why I take my meds" in 2017 but it was too emotional for me. Now that I'm growing in my mental health advocacy, people are sharing with me their gratitude in my transparency. This causes me to want to blog even the more in sharing my journey with mental illness into mental wellness. I'm not sure if you are struggling with the idea of taking medication because you feel you don't need it. You are so afraid of what others will think of you and even a potential partner. You feel like you don't want to become "addicted" to the medication. You feel pill shamed and that it has something to do with not having enough faith in God as a Healer. You are so ashamed of your mental diagnosis and are so ashamed of taking medication. You do NOT want to be labeled as "CRAZY"! And the list goes on...

I want to encourage you...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!💚

I've been there...I know exactly where you are. I was in denial about my illness of having Bipolar Disorder with Psychosis, it can also be referenced in the same family as SchizoAffective Disorder. I was totally ashamed and I carried it heavily. I still have to remind myself at times that my purpose is to inform, educate and break the stigma. After my last hospitalization in July 2014, I promised myself, loved ones and God that I will take my meds and the only way I'm taking myself off is if God tells me and confirms it through my doctor. After many mental health challenges which led to many episodes,  nervous breakdowns and four psychiatric hospitalizations, I decided to give medication a true chance. I needed that last hospitalization. I needed time away from school and work to truly heal and learn how to manage my illness and recover. Even with all that, my psychiatrist told me after some years that she will take me off my medication after some experiences to see how I handle certain life challenges. But she is so glad to see how I'm progressing and she really hopes for the best with me. 

I experienced racy thoughts, anxiety, paranoia, hallucinations, social anxiety, psychosis (not in touch with reality), abnormal fears, and so much more! There are some battles that I have experienced, the world would label as "crazy" but I had no control over. I've experienced deliverance without being on meds and I highly recommend being on meds while receiving deliverance. The medication helps aid in the chemical imbalance. It makes a difference! I remember before taking my meds consistently like I am now, that I would be really moody at times, couldn't focus, experienced higher anxiety, panic attacks, and would snap on loved ones and even friends. It was a heartbreaking journey to get me to seek treatment and do my treatment properly and consistently. 

I was doing the not "claiming it". Everything holistic with diet, exercise and supplements. I was fasting and praying and declaring the word over my life and reading and listening to prayer books, especially when it came to healing. For 6 years, I tried that and I eventually got worse in my sickness of being off and on my medication. There were plenty of times I would get my medication and throw the whole bottle away. But after my last nervous breakdown, I decided to look at my illness in a different light. Not as a curse but as a  way to relate to others and heal. I remember when I was 16 years old asking God for a testimony to relate to others because I didn't feel like I went through enough in life and was shortly diagnosed with mental illness right after. Whew Jesus! Then in 2012, at 19 years old, 4 months before turning 20, God told me my purpose was to minister to those with mental illness on how to overcome. Thank God for a ministry and leaders  that believed in God using doctors and medicine to heal and the power of therapy. I have a wonderful therapist who helps me understand my diagnosis and walks with me through my inner healing journey. It is so needed. I've been taking my medication consistently since 2014, all the while still doing holistic practices with certain supplements and diet and exercise. I still fast, pray and declare God's word and healing power over my life and others. I still read and listen to prayer books. God's sovereignty is God's sovereignty. I've realized all the Hell I went through with the illness, was to bring HIM greater glory. My pain, and story for His glory. Jesus definitely paid it all! And even if my story doesn't make sense to you and it has been quite challenging for me breaking the stigma and paving the way with mental health, faith and more...His word came to pass in my life. 

It came to pass even when I thought it was going to happen differently. I thought I was going to be healed of Bipolar Disorder and meds free, then share my testimony on how I was healed and set free. Instead, my life turned out to be, let my struggles and scars, turn into a testimony and stars so that others won't feel alone in their journey. 

And as I grow, I can't regret this life experience even though it becomes very weary, tiresome, and very stretching of my faith in God. But He's literally been with me and He is with you as as well even if it doesn't feel like it (Joshua 1:9)! He is turning my pain into purpose and is doing the same for you. 

You may feel like I don't want to be part of the 1 in 5. But you are not alone. We are in this together. Seek professional help and treatment. Don't let anyone to shame you from taking your meds, getting therapy frequently and working through your struggles. You do not have to suffer in silence any longer. There are millions  who are in your shoes. We are breaking the stigma together! 

Even though my medication doesn't cure all, going to therapy and learning different therapy techniques has been definitely helpful. With the medication, this is the most stable I've ever been even with ups and downs that comes with Bipolar Disorder. In the past, I could literally feel the imbalance ...like something was chemically off in my mind and body. I would sit in the tub or stairs rocking back and forth with my arms wrapped around my legs because I was having tremors without the meds. I'm glad that is in the past and those days are behind me...but if that is where you are, I am praying for you! It is okay to seek professional help. Days will get better and brighter days are ahead!

I love you for real! Hang in there! God loves you more!

Love, 

xoxo,  Sheree B 

P.S. Be sure to purchase my three books on Amazon. Type in "Sheree Braswell" in the search bar. One day, I will update this blog to include everything in one place. If you can do that for me, email me @ shereebraswell@gmail.com! I would appreciate it.

Til Next Time... God bless!