10 Years Single and What I've Learned

 

Hey Loves, 

For those who have been keeping up with my blogposts, I  blogged at my 7th year mark about me being 7 years single and what I've learned. Now I'm at my 10 year mark and I have learned so much since 3 years ago. I am so ready to share with you what I've learned and some of my experiences. I told God in 2011 that I could be single for the next 10 years because I was so broken. I told God let me travel, heal me, help me walk in my purpose and so much more and well that happened and more! 

In 10 years I've learned...

1. Power of patience and prayer.- I learned not only the power of covering my future husband in prayer but I grew in prayer when it came to myself. I grew in prayer when it came to asking God to break off my strongholds. I became more patient with myself in my struggles, flaws and accepting myself. I grew patient when I decided to get to know different men and date. Learning and getting to know different guys helped me to understand men more and what I liked and disliked in men. It helped me increase in my prayer life for what I desire in a future spouse and where I needed to heal and grow.
2. Don’t lose your identity.-I've experienced situations where I felt like I was questioning myself and how God has made me and my uniqueness. I learned that you shouldn't lose yourself and sight of what God has called and how He has made you when talking with a guy. Don't lose who you are and know who you belong to first (Jesus). Don't feel you have to drop your dreams and just fulfill that guy dream. God has a plan for you and a purpose. The one God has for you will not hinder you from walking in your God-given purpose. He will help you push to pursue it bigger. 
3. Walk in your purpose. God has really shown me my purpose even the more and has really ordered my steps after letting go and letting God 10 years ago. I walked into new things and published 3 books so far. I've done radio. I'm completing another degree. God allowed me to get a mental health grant. I'm so excited about what God is going to do next. HE's faithful in HIS promises.  
4. Watch whose speaking into your life.- I've learned you have to watch who is speaking into your life because it can hinder what you are believing God for. If you are believing God for a promising godly marriage, you cannot talk to people who don't revere and honor marriage especially doing it God's way. I'm almost 30...yes, my hormones are real and a desire for a family of my own is strong but I know I need people who are going to encourage me to wait and believe and be in agreement with me to do it God's way and don't settle for less than God's best. Not people who are going to tell me my clock is ticking. And I understand that it may feel like at times celibate or abstinent people are non-existent but they are out there. I need accountability more than ever now and I thank God for people who are in my circle and those online who said they are praying for me concerning that area. Having people who are encouraging and have even greater faith than you are so beneficial in your journey. 
5. Invest in yourself.- I really decided that I was going to invest in my health. PCOS and Bipolar disorder really took a toll on my physical health with unwanted weight gain. I decided to use my financial resources to educate myself and hire a PCOS health coach and joining the Optavia health plan. It has been a life changer and worth every penny.  I remember having a conversation with God about the investment and He was like you freely give money to others...it's time to splurge on you and get your health in order. And that's what I did. Best decision ever. 
6. Manage your finances. - I took a course The Financial Peace University -Dave Ramsey Plan. I found out how Free Spirit of a spender I can really be and learning how to change my perspective on a financial budget. I'm still working on myself in this area. But I'm encouraged to know that talking about finances with my future spouse will be a priority and discussing financial goals and so much more. 
7. Manage your time. -Dating and meeting different men can be fun. You spend time texting or talking on the phone. I had to learn how to prioritize God, me-time and my school work, my books and ministry stuff. Because there were moments where I wanted to put stuff off and focus on a guy and the Lord would check me. Sometimes, when it's fresh you spend a lot of time getting to know that person and texting/calls/FaceTime, and I had to learn how to put my things in order. 
8. Heal. - I know what brokenness feels like in many ways but one thing I'm working on is not suppressing stuff but uproot it and heal. I'm learning that healing is an ongoing journey. Especially with the ups and downs with mental illness, I am learning through therapy that I don't have to fully "arrive" to be married. I need to feel comfortable with me and complete in God. But I don't have to put off marriage and love because I have my mental health days. I'm learning to heal from past trauma and praying for my future spouse to heal from his. I can't fix or change him...if he's hurt and broken with his guard up...I can't change that. Only God can. No matter what I do to make it seem like I'm genuine and won't burn that guy like other women have, I've learned I don't have to prove anything. It's his responsibility to heal as much as it is mine to heal from my past hurts and trauma. That's what I've learned from the men I've talked to...so I'm praying for myself and my future spouse because the hurt people, hurt people cycle has to end. Healing is me and my future husband portion. 
9. Let go of soul ties and forgive.-I'm currently working on this and it's hard. Soul ties aren't always sexual. It can develop by emotional/mental connection. I literally left a situation where I felt like the social media comedian Jasmin Luv and her comedic videos with the character Rodney. lol You know, where you're like I'm going to let go but you go back. And it repeats 3-4 times smh lol. I am really trying to let go in that mental and emotional connection because I have to ask myself what am I losing by letting go? It's rough but I'm going to press forward. Pray for me! I had to learn to forgive and forgive myself and that's still a process but God's plan is going to unfold. 
10. Trust God no matter what!- I know my faith gets a bit shaky after meeting different men but I know and I always say there is a great man out there for me even when my heart may not feel like it at times honestly. Trusting God can be a stretch at times especially when you thought you got what you truly desired, prayed and ask God for your whole life, but He's showing me this may not be the one but what I have for you is coming. Trust me, daughter!

Bonus : Get rid of limiting beliefs. -I think I've stagnated myself in attracting the one for me in the past due to some of the negative limiting beliefs about love/marriage/healthy relationships I had concerning myself (not others). I'm currently working on this in therapy. I think I have personalized and grew in relationship/dating anxiety through other people experiences and dealt with my own hurt that skewed and blurred my vision but I see things more clearly now and I'm allowing God to do the inner work in me and my heart and mind. 

Welp, that's all folks. I'm getting myself in position to receive all the blessings GOD has for me and that future spouse is included in that too. These are the 10 things I've learned being single for 10 years. I hope this post encouraged you. I'm keeping you lifted in my prayers. Keep me lifted please!

Love YOU,

Sheree B

xoxo